How To Be A Screen Free Family (It’s easier than you think)

Why we chose early on to be a screen free family, what we do instead, and how it effects our children. See the 7 ways we structure our day without screens.

These are some truths about our family:

• We do not own a tablet.
• The kids have seen less than 10 movies in their entire lives (at age 2 and 4).
• We have one TV. (There is a second one for the basement, but it hasn’t been used in over two years.)
• That one TV has not been turned on in over a month.
• We keep the kids as screen free as possible.

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Here are some things people tell me when they learn these truths about our family:

• “Wouldn’t it be nice to get a break?” (It is not a break since they want us to sit right next to them and watch together.)
• “I live for 4pm when I turn on the TV and can start dinner.” (We involve the kids in the cooking or set them up with an independent activity.)
• “There are educational shows that aren’t that bad.” (They are still complete zombies when watching. Also, books are educational too.)
• “Aren’t you afraid they will be behind learning how to use technology?” (Nope. Technology is so user friendly. I also did not have a phone until I was 18. I’m fine.)
• “Your kids are going to miss out on so much culture.” (They are too young to know and did you watch all the exact same things as your friends?)

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Rob and I decided early on that we didn’t want Zoey (our oldest) to be watching screens and committed to being a screen free family. We have kept that standard up with William and Hazel as well.

Being a very minimal screen-time family is something Rob and I are proud of and I want you to know that you can make changes to your screen use as well to time that works for your family better.

You can read more on the impact of screen time in young kids here.

When we have had movie nights, or let the kids watch a show here and there, we notice some pretty drastic behavior changes.

Changes like:

• Tantrums when the screen is turned off.
• Rude voices and ways of responding.
• Nightmares for at least a few days. Shows that were rated G actually turned out to be pretty scary for our crew.
• Trouble going to sleep.
• Problems concentrating for the rest of the day and part of the next day.
• More difficult to get them up and moving.

For all of these reasons we keep the screens off and keep our phones away as much as possible.

That being said, we do have a few screen time exceptions:

• This past summer we did about three family movie nights. They were such treats for the kids, but we still dealt with tantrums and corrective behaviors afterwards.
• Library story time. Heading to the library for story time was an integral part of our week. Now that they have moved it to online, we watch the 20 minute Facebook live once a week.
• Potty training. We pull out all the stops to get the kids to sit on the potty longer. That includes Elmo.
• Travel days. Letting them watch a movie or play on our phones is still a treat for that day, but we are more lax about it after the snacks, the games, the busy bags, the books, and all the questions.

Call it sheltering, call it over protective, we know what works best for our family.

How To Be A Screen Free Family

We have been a minimal screen time family for the past four years. There are a few ways we make this happen on a daily basis.

We follow a strict daily schedule

It has to be the teachers in us that we keep the kids on a pretty tight schedule. Children thrive on schedules and our little rule follower Zoey and our march-to-his-own-drummer William both do extremely well in those parameters.

We engage with the kids

I have no problem being the cruise director for the kids’ day. I generally plan a few activities for the day and make sure to include tons of free and independent play.

Some activity ideas we love:

• 29 Beginner Craft Projects For Young Kids
• Movement Activities For Preschoolers and Their Parents
• 19 Simple Dramatic Play Ideas For Young Kids
• 10 Easy No Screen Activities to Keep Kids Busy For An Hour

We involve the kids in what we are doing

As much as it pains me to do it because it takes triple the amount of time, I involve the kids in the daily tasks. Dishes, laundry, cleaning up, some errands. Whatever it is they are working with me.

One way that helped us be more confident having the kids help in the kitchen was using Raddish Kids. Check out my full review here.

We read a ton

By a ton, I mean a minimum of four books per day, and that is being modest. We completed the 1,000 books before kindergarten recommendation in 8 months (separately with Zoey and William), and do not leave the library with less than 40 books.

We read in the mornings before getting ready, we read after lunch, we read before bed, and we read at random times throughout the day.

We lead by example

Rob and I are extremely conscious about how much time we spend on our phones in front of the kids. Your kids are watching every. move you make and they want to emulate you.

If you are on your phone, they want to be on a phone. If you are watching a show, they want to watch a show.

We are outside as much as possible

Sure this one gets harder in the colder months, but we make the effort.

The more time we spend outside, the more creativity, movement, and experiencing the world we can do. Our outdoor time is an integral part to us being a screen free family.

We go for walks, bike rides, play at the playgrounds, use toys in the backyard, do yard work together.

We keep toys and activities readily accessible

Even though we try to keep their toys to a minimum, it still feels like there is a serious amount. Rob and I are really mindful about the kinds of toys that come in the house and I regularly get rid of toys the kids do not play with.

Whatever toys and activities we do have out, we try to make multi-purpose. A few consistent toys that are always out:

• train table
• A play kitchen

Head here for the top gift ideas for three year olds they will actually use again and again.

If you want to be closer to a screen free family, do it! Start small and build up that screen-less time slowly. It can be a real adjustment at first, but you will be so glad you did.

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