TGIF! I have to tell you, this week just flew and I am quite thankful for that. One of the best parts about Friday? Getting a weekly “Happy Friday” text from Marie, my mother-in-law. I always look forward to its universal, “Everyone loves Friday” vibe.
For all my teacher, former teacher, and parent readers, I wanted to chat about how you react when a student loses their cool in your room. When I taught middle school in Arizona, I had students regularly curse, throw things, a few desk flippers, and one time the kid who had been picked on all year put one of his bully-ers through the sheetrock. (I wasn’t even mad.)
A lot of teachers get embarrassed by these things; it makes it sound like we can’t “control” our kiddos. How do you control the raging emotions and hormones of teenagers? You don’t. The kids may respect you as the teacher, as a person, but they don’t always respect their peers.
On Wednesday, one of my students who loves to argue about anything just to argue, i.e.: me – “The sky is blue.” him: “No it’s not, it’s white because it’s cloudy”, spat out a solid “Screw You.”
This was over me asking him to put his Panda Express tray of food to the side during class time. He complied, after arguing at me, not with me, but then couldn’t control his words.
His apology letter.
Now, this isn’t the first time a kiddo has lost control of their mouth in my presence. My question to you is, what do you do with those kids? How do you react, respond, handle subsequent days?
I am pretty forgiving. I give the appropriate consequence and the next day is a clean slate. Maybe they will learn to think before they speak sooner rather than later?
RQ: How do you handle kids who lose it? Have you ever been treated with disrespect by kids?
I’m Brooke Selb, a Personal Trainer and Health Coach specializing in helping busy moms and moms to be to easily juggle mom life with family friendly recipes, and easy exercise routines to help you achieve your fitness goals that fit in with your already busy life with sound nutritional advice.
That really was a pretty nice apology letter.
It has been a long time for me but I think one of the worst things was when one of my 8th grade student’s called me a bitch in front of the whole class. The crazy thing – by the end of the year he and I got along really well.
Do you ever wish you could take a picture of your face at a moment like that? With all the thoughts on how to, and not, react going through my head in that moment, I am sure my face is something interesting to watch.
Brooke… this is a tough one.
I’ve been hot-headed with kids (once I wish I could take back in particular) who are completely rude and disrespectful. After teaching for awhile I found that on some occasions I was getting much better at having a consequence/discussion and moving on the next day ~ just as you said. There were other situations, however, that began to make me angrier the more they happened. Those tended to be situations that I assumed would be rare and ended up not being so rare. I was disappointed that disrespect of that kind would happen that often.
Now that I’m teaching college students (though mostly freshmen ~ 13th grade) I don’t deal with it nearly as often. I do, however, attribute some of it to MY being older. I think sometimes teenagers think they can take advantage of younger teachers.
I’m so glad you got an apology letter!
Younger and new-to-them teachers. The district I am in has a very big family vibe and I’m the newcomer (along with 30 other teachers). The kids have to test you out to make sure you’re family material. It’s an interesting weed out process. Teaching college must be nice for the higher-level thinking and the ability to teach more and discipline less.
I have a friend who is a high school principal in Tulsa and she regularly gets angry at kids and parents alike. She post something on facebook the other day that I found very sweet: “The Kids who need the most love ask for it in the most unloving ways.” I know that does not always help in the moment, but it is a good perspective to keep. Glad he wrote a nice letter 🙂 Have a fantastic weekend!
I like that quote a lot. It can be pretty hard to keep in mind when kids get out of hand. Your friend rocks for getting on the parents’ case too. I don’t think enough teachers and principals are brave enough to.
Oh man…I typed up this really long comment and then something happened….
I can’t remember everything from it but I do agree that every day is a new day to start fresh.
Bummer. I hope your kiddos haven’t been too tough on you in your long-term position with them.
Many times, we as the adults forget that kids have emotions, and are learning to control them. The biggest problem is the adult who doesn’t wish to hear the other side, having the “because I said so” mentality. It seems as if you handled this without emotions and under control, but I would ask- “What is the big deal if he was to eat in your class? Obviously he was allowed to take the food into a classroom. Was it worth the outburst, or would it have been peaceful to have him eat it in the back of the room? He truly could have been hungry and been denied food all day?” I once was questioned because I would let a kid stand at his desk rather than sit. He said and showed that he concentrated better standing, so I moved his desk back so he was in no one’s way. Worked out great except for the teacher who didnt like to see him standing. Working with, rather than against, is always best. They get enough adults yelling and screaming at them, telling them they are disrespectful and will end up a loser. the fact he wrote an honest letter that he put thought into shows his respect for you.
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I completely agree with you. I usually handle things in the most respectful, what’s best for the student, way possible. I wouldn’t have mind if he was eating, but it is a school rule for no food in class except breakfast. The student is one who respects me and we get along really well. He hangs out in my room regularly. He was just having one of those tough days.